Life Lessons

Well, if 2020 taught us anything it taught me how to slow down and how to appreciate the little things in life. I used to think that multi-tasking was the very best use of my time and that I could get “so much more” done if I could master this skill. Well, I was wrong! Multi-tasking is just a way of doing things that makes you do a half-hearted job at many things rather than a good/great job at one thing!

Why do we think the busier we are the more important we are? Who ever put this idea in our heads?

I have really learned to appreciate life and learned that “multi-tasking” is NOT more efficient and not always the solution to today’s busy lives. Multi-tasking just means you are putting in a “partial” effort to more than one thing. We need to STOP thinking that this is better! I was like everyone else and thought that while I talked on the phone to my mom I should be cleaning the bathroom, walking the dog, making dinner, or doing SOMETHING else! But do you know what? I only ever gave her “partial” attention and she deserves my full attention. Same thing with multi-tasking chores and jobs; everything is only “partially” done!

What I am trying to wrap my head around is just why everyone is so busy all the time! I live a fantastic life and don’t feel like I am missing out on anything, yet I don’t feel overwhelmed in any way and have plenty of down-time. Am I just different? Is this a choice I have made? Am I lazy?

It seems as though we think we are viewed as “Lazy” if we are not always running around doing 20,000 things, for 20,000 people!

Taking time to yourself and SLOWING DOWN is something we, as a society, need to embrace. Honestly, the lockdown and isolation of 2020 taught me that I need to take care of myself. I am that important! If I want to be a better human being/mom/wife/daughter/friend/employee than I NEED to take care of myself.

What does this mean you might ask?? It means prioritizing what makes me feel good, what I enjoy doing, what will make me feel fulfilled, and what I need to be happy. If we put ourselves first, we become better at being there for everyone else!

When my children were very young I realized that I needed exercise in order to feel complete, and to maintain my mental health. So, I carved out time in my day to do this.

There is this completely INSANE belief that to exercise you need to A) have at least an hour, B) join a gym, and/or C) own exercise equipment. This is 100% not true. There are a ton of workout videos on Youtube, (and a ton here on my blog!!) that are short, efficient, and totally worth your time. HIIT (High intensity interval training) is an intense 10-15 min workout that gets your heart pumping and gets you sweating and that’s all you need to do!

So please, tell me who doesn’t have 10 minutes to give yourself????? I GUARANTEE you spend quadruple this time scrolling through your social media feeds! Take the time right now to schedule in 15 min on 4 days this week where you do a Pilates, Yoga, HIIT, Booty Band, or Weights workout! Seriously………schedule it in right now! If we write things down we are more likely to commit to doing it.

To sum up, 2020 taught me to SLOW down, do one thing at a time, and that I am important! I have had a lot of time to think about life, contemplate my purpose, really realize who my friends are, realize how important connecting to people is and how to be the best wife/mom/friend/daughter/human being I can possibly be. You know what??? It is taking the time to appreciate each and every thing I do, and appreciating each and every conversation I have with someone I care about.

What do you think?

Are you willing to slow down?

I will never forget this year for so many reasons, but I also would never take away the lessons I’ve learned and am grateful for those every single day.

Your Simply Susan advice of the day💛🙃🥰

Life is good!

I am in a very good place in my life right now, so I decided I would spread the joy around.

Realizing and acknowledging the good things in your life helps you so much. So many people are negative about life and live to complain and focus on the bad in everything. Sure, we all have bad stuff going on in our life, but do you know what? It is up to you to change your way of thinking and not dwell on things that bring you down. Thoughts are like magnets; if you think of a few good things in your life they will bring forth more good thoughts and memories. The same goes for bad thoughts. I find I can spiral downward once I have a few things go wrong and end up in a deep, dark place that is quiet a challenge to dig myself out of.

I have a few helpful tips that will make your days happy if you follow them:

Smile at and say “Hi” to a stranger today! Pick your person wisely, but while you are out for your walk or walking to the GO train or whatever, smile and say “Hi!” to someone. It will surprise you how this simple thing can make both yours and someone else’s day!

Take time to give a genuine compliment to someone each day. Making someone feel good about themself will also make you feel happy.

Greet people with a smile and a Hi whenever you can. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by a fabulous family, great friends, and a job working with people I love. I truly believe that greeting people with a big smile and a nice hello can put people at ease and make mostly all situations better!

Someone once told me a long time ago that every night when you are going to bed think of 5 things you are thankful for. This was one of the best tips I have ever received! When you remind yourself right before dozing off to sleep of things you are thankful for, that puts your mind in a good place and helps you fall asleep.

Please give these a try, you’ll be glad you did, trust me!

Remember….You can’t always control what happens, you can ONLY control how you react to what happens.❤️

Your Simply Susan quick and dirty tip of the day! 😊💛

Suzy Sunshine 🌞

For those of you who know me personally, would you believe me if I told you that I struggle with depression? Even to my faithful blog readers it’s likely not something you would have figured out, since I like to keep my blogs positive and happy.

With Bell’s Let’s Talk Campaign approaching us, I want to bring awareness to Depression and Mental Illness and encourage people to recognize the signs and symptoms and I thought I would start by telling you about myself.

That’s right, I am one of the many people who deal with this on a daily basis and have learned to hide it very, very well. Not only that, but I have also learned to cope with it and also learned who truly loves me and accepts me for who I am.

I know this likely comes as quite a shock to many of you who think that I seem like the opposite of someone who suffers from depression; I mostly always have a huge smile on my face, I laugh A LOT, and I always have something positive to say to people! I am often referred to as “Suzy Sunshine”! The thing is, I treat others the way I want, and hope, people will treat me and others. It’s as simple as that. I want to feel good, and I know that when people greet me with a smile and a friendly hello, it can instantly make me feel good. I like to spread the joy and it truly makes me a happier, better person.

I feel the need to bring this out there and deal with it head on as I feel like there needs to be so much more awareness and acceptance out there about mental illness.

I came to terms with it only about 5 years ago now, but know definitely that it is something that I have hidden, struggled with, denied, and coped with since my teen years at least. Depression can be brought on by traumatic life events such as sickness or death of loved ones, or, as in my case, genetics. Because depression is a mental illness, people in older generations have difficulty accepting and admitting to having it as they see it as “psychotic” or “mentally disturbed” among other things. It is not accepted by them as easily. I have tried to educate and show my family member that they also suffer from it and could benefit from treatment, but this was not well received, and in fact it was adamantly denied. I can easily trace it back 2 generations and in my case, it is genetic. Thankfully, my children are now fully aware of it and we have many open discussions with each other and our doctor.

It is such a very hard thing to come to grips with and accept. For me, I totally recognize that I have a great life; an amazing, loving, supportive husband, 2 incredible, supportive children, a wonderful home, a job I love…..so when I was suffering daily, crying, feeling hopeless, feeling so sad that I thought life would be better for everyone without me, I knew that this was not right. For too long I suffered in silence thinking I just couldn’t handle the stresses of daily life because I was weak. I put myself down, had daily battles with myself, and faked it, faked it, faked it to those who knew me quite well. I truly thought that if I told people, that they would judge me, think I was making excuses and think I was weak. So, I hid it and suffered in silence as so many do.

Once I hit rock bottom…..everything in my life was going very well, yet when I was using one of my best coping strategies (running it out) I was crying uncontrollably and decided that enough was enough, I got home and immediately made an appointment to see my family doctor. She knows me very well, and has helped me very much over the years.

Now I know many people are against taking medication to help them deal with depression. They worry that it will change them or that they will be on it for life and be dependent on it. If you had diabetes and required medication to stabilize your blood sugar would you take it? Of course you would. So why, when you have a chemical imbalance in your brain that can be regulated with medication would you not take it? Medication can definitely help, but is not for everyone. There are so many treatments available to you, you just have to first accept that you need help then speak with someone you trust to see what is out there.

One thing people don’t understand about depression is that just “thinking about happy times” “thinking about all I have, the great life I lead and all I have going for me” or ” watching comedies” doesn’t get me out of my downward spirals. Boy do I wish it were as easy as that! That would be the life! Thinking of those things actually makes me worse because I realize that I have no tangible reason to be feeling as bad as I am feeling and I feel I must have everything wrong with my brain if I feel uncontrollably sad when I have no real reasons to be. I hated myself for feeling the way I would feel and felt so weak and like such a loser.

Negative thoughts are like magnets that attract each other and get heavier and heavier eventually weighing you down so far you feel as though you are in a deep hole that you’ll never get out of. You get a sort of tunnel vision and you just want to bury yourself in a hole and never emerge. Thankfully I am starting to recognize when I am spiraling down and reach out to close friends and my family for help. Now that I have opened up to some people that I knew would not judge me, I am able to get out of my spirals sooner and feel better more quickly than in the past.

I don’t have a tried and tested way for getting myself up and out of these downward spirals, but I THANKFULLY have some very special people in my life who really help me and love me no matter what. It is these people (and my dog Finely of course!!) as well as other factors that get me up and out of the hole I am. Sometimes though I still feel like such a burden that I try to hide it so as not to bring others down with me. I still feel weak a lot of the time for letting things get to me and not being able to cope but am learning to accept it for what it is an not over analyze it as much.

I accept that this is a lifelong struggle I will have, but with acceptance comes happiness…eventually!

WHOA! That was a lot to unload.

I do not want you to think that I, or anyone struggling with depression, uses this as an excuse for being grumpy, cold, moody, or short-tempered, I just want everyone to be aware that things and people aren’t always as they seem. I have become a “master of disguise” and it certainly has fooled others because those who I have shared my suffering with truly had no idea. One of my favourite comedians always comes to mind when I think of people having depression and hiding it well, r.i.p. Robin Williams.

My advice to anyone else out there who thinks they may also suffer with depression? Be honest with yourself and talk! That’s the best advice, talk, be open, accept yourself for who you are, and get some help.

Feel free to comment or send me a personal message. This was a big step for me to admit this in such a big way, but hopefully by reading this I will help at least one person and hopefully many more.

Your Simply Susan truth of the day!

Keep positive and smile on! You know I will.